I’ve been absent. Not inspired to write about beauty trends and tips to keep your skin clear, blah, blah, blah. I could talk about it for hours on end, but honestly, who cares? Well… I do and at least 85% of the female population want to look better because anything less than perfect is not allowed. It is just that simple. It’s not right, you’ve got a couple hairs where there shouldn’t be? We can laser those away for a couple hundred a month. You’ve got thin, short hair that doesn’t look like a mermaid? We have just the product for you! These $400 hair extensions will change the way you look, but more importantly the way the world looks at you! Your lips aren’t pouty? How dare you smile at me with that emoji smile! Sit your ass down for $600 worth of lip stuffing. I could just go on and on describing this charade but I believe I made my point. I love make-up and beauty stuff. And just like any other millennial woman, I could spend hours on Instagram looking at beautiful, small-waisted, big butt-ed, long-haired, perfect looking women around the world having matcha lattes and just looking so fucking perfect, “living” their best life, on a cruise, on a boat, on the beach, in the mountains, heck they even look glorious on the subway! On their fucking commute, probably to brunch! Oh, envy. I love brunch. Anyway, often when I’m stalking these gorgeous women on Instagram, I see a reflection of my face on the phone (that frog face? anyone?) and I just think “Oh God! That’s why you are not an influencer getting cool stuff for free!” Mmmm maybe I should get that dermaplaning thing…just scratch away my skin with a scalpel! Thank you very much, that’ll be $200. Oh damn, wait but I don’t actually have the money. Actually, I’m so broke that I can only have a coffee a week outside my apartment. I am an unemployed immigrant millennial in New York, so I only get to take a picture a week where I’m “living my best life”. No, I don’t do that. It’s hard, I tried to “document” my life and it was hell for me! Trying to look good from morning to night, to find someone to take a cool picture of me having eggs in the morning. The dilemma, “What is more interesting to look at me or the eggs?” The worst part was trying to make it look like I had a fun interesting life and hope that someone would suddenly take me on a trip to Greece! No one offered…but I learned to respect our current influencers. It’s not as easy as it looks! Anyway, I got off track. I gave up on perfection, perfect pictures, perfect makeup, perfect body, perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect humor, perfect jokes, perfect thoughts, perfect sunnyside eggs!? and after all, who defines perfect? I want to write now about being human, being female, being an immigrant, being a wife (new item), being a mother (to my dog), and tell you how I look at the world from my tiny Queens apartment.